I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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