Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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