He told me they were just razor bumps!
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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