there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
