just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
