Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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