Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
