I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
