dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize