her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Too much gin, very little bucket
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
