If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize
