I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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