Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
you traded sex for a burrito?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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