He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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