david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
