Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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