I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
