Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
