so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
