Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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