so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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