we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Do you have feelings for this penis?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
