Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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