I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
