Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
