Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
