Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
