I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
