She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
