he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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