doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
