It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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