This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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