how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
