while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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