Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
