This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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