i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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