It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
