i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
