It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
