lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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