Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
