that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
