your thong is hanging out like whoa
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
