I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
