my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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