How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize