I'm sorry my penis didn't work
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
