i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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