yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
