I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
