your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
