You just made me feel so damn special
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
