Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
