my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
