Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
