I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
