her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
