You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
We have started to decorate penises.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
