never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
