I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
