I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
