Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
