oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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