I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
The uberlube is also flammable
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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