So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
