I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
