We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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