why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
