we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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