I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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