Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
