You made me cry and you don't even care
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
