Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
