i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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