Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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