O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
