Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize