he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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