yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
my liver is dry heaving
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
